“I’m in love with the most wonderful man. I’m infatuated. I’m over the moon. He is the sweetest man; he treats me better than any man I’ve ever had in my life…..But…well. I’m suffering terribly, Venus. He’s…he’s married.”
Thud. A wildly beating heart turns to stone and hits the street.
I talk to a lot of women who are in love with and or in relationships with married men. And, I talk to married women who don’t always think their cheating husbands are the Most Wonderful Men In The World. And, I talk to cheating husbands! And cheating wives. And cheating same sex couples.
‘Ellie’ has a deep crush on her married, handsome gardner. “He is a genius of artistic design. He and I can talk about everything. We are simpatico. He spends hours at my house and gives me the most wonderful hugs. I think he is bored with his wife.”
Ellie pants and pines for ‘Howard’ for a year. She and I talk, often. I look into the fellow’s mind. Often. He’s a decent guy. The two of them have never crossed The Line. Unless you call spending Christmas Eve with her drinking red wine and eating cheese, crossing the line. He leads her on, but seemingly doesn’t know he’s leading. Ellie is frustrated. She reads my book, “Certain Men.” She tells me, ‘I promise Venus, I will not suffer over this man.” And, she doesn’t. At least not too much….
After the Christmas Closeness she doesn’t see or hear from Howard for 3 1/2 months. He just stops coming around to check her roses. It’s hard, but Ellie chooses not to think and obsess over him. She chooses not to suffer.
One day he shows up.