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Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

This Is Not Where I Met Mr. Penis. I Did Meet Someone Else Here

I’m at a buffet bar and there is a very startled man looking at me with a shocked expression on his face. He can’t take his eyes off me.

This is happening a number of years ago when I lived at the coast in the Land Of Surfers and Hot Babes.

I am at a ‘Networking Meet and Greet’ and I am wearing a sticky name tag that says, ‘Venus’.

The woman who runs these meetings always brings her brown pet ferret with her, draped around her neck like a mink.

She and others who are here to network and find new business, are lined around the salad and food bar, smiling winningly and scooping up pre-fab morsels of food.

There is a good looking young man across the salad from me that I have not seen before. His name tag says, ‘Peter.’

I am feeling especially bright and friendly and I call out to him, “Hello! You must be Penis!’

Oh my god. Why did the name ‘Peter’ come out as ‘Penis’!? (more…)

Dr. Chen And The Palm Reader

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

Dr. Chen Resting Between Needle Work

Darling Dr. Chen is sticking needles in my stomach. He tells me he has looked at my website and is duly impressed. He tells me he believes in these kinds of things.

“I have a lady client,” he says. “88 years old from China. She tells me that when she was young she saw a palm reader and the reader said she would eventually live in a place the color of red, white and blue.”

I blink for a moment and say, “Oh! The United States of America!”

Dr. Chen says, “Yes, yes! And then the reader says she will live by a lake and she will marry an older man, have one son and she will be widowed when she is 59. And, that she will have  health troubles and 3 operations but after the 3rd one, she will be healthy and live a long time. But, she will live alone.”

“Oh, and?” I say.

“She came to America to live, she lived by a lake and she married an older man. He died when she was 59, she has one son and she has had 3 operations. She just had her 3rd one for a broken bone in her neck. That’s why she see’s me, to help with that.”

“And now she’s going to live a long time?” I ask. “But, she’s already 88!”

“So, I believe in things un-explained,” says Dr. Chen.

I’m not sure  anymore, what I believe in. Why is it that once in an great, great while you get a  special reader of some kind and you find that your whole life has been spelled out like it has been written in a book and signed by you before you come into this life?  Signed and, notarized. Where is the free will? Where are the choices and the various forking roads that one might take? Or, is free will just our ability to choose to like chocolate ice cream… or vanilla?

‘Let Go And Let God’ takes on new meaning. If it’s all planned out, why worry? Why agonize? Why spend years crying over what we do have and crying about what we don’t have? Why trouble ourselves with guilt, recriminations and ‘what ifs.’ If our lives are indeed firmly Written maybe we should just relax and live them?

But, there’s the rub. We don’t know the answer to the question. We don’t know if our lives are predetermined. We wonder, but we don’t know. Nobody gave us the paperwork.

Life is a Mystery Story and how interesting would it be if we knew the ending? Or we thought we knew the ending? Best to read the full novel without peeking, I think.

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

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Art and Sex

Wednesday, May 1st, 2013

An ‘Ordinary’ Winery?

This Winery is a small leap from my house, right around a bend in the Oak tree lined road. It looks like any day at any Winery, doesn’t it?

But, maybe not.

It’s an Italian Winery, and the man and wife who own it, both in their 80’s, make fresh pizza for us in their out door brick oven.

When we come here we eat crisp pizza dripping with cheese and drink bottles of wine. Italian men play instruments on the patio and sing Italian opera for us while we overlook the grape vineyards and the great rock and grass strewn valley below.

Today, I’m here with my daughter, her husband and my 6 year old grandson and 10 year old granddaughter.

I’ve been here, before but my god, something has changed.

Look at the photo, again. Do you see anything unusual about it? No? Well. Let me show you a few things.


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