Lovelife

A Sure Fire Way To Meet A Single Man

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

One Of The Trees That Caused The Trouble

I’m bent under the black walnut trees that line the road down the lane, across from my house.. There’s a lot of nuts on the ground this year.

I search through the dried grass, find handfuls of black shelled nuts and toss them into the street. I bend, scoop, and toss until there are masses of hard shelled nuts on the pavement.

The crows on the wires and I watch and wait for cars and trucks to roll by and snap the nuts making multiple, sharp bangs. The weight of vehicles crack the shells exposing the soft meat.

Bang, crack, bang, crack, crack, bang! The sound is very satisfying.

Every fall I feed the crows their walnuts this way.

At last, turning from my good deed I head down the long lane across the street from me. The cars rush by behind me as the volley of banging continues to hit the air.

Suddenly, there is a man racing out of his house toward me, across his field, headed to the road. (more…)

A Jaunty Lesson About Sex

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

Venus Unaware

My daughter, the kids and I go to a Renaissance Faire.

Here’s a highlight.

Summer takes my photo with this Jolly Renaissance Man. Look at it carefully.

My 9 year old granddaughter is looking carefully.

“What’s that?” she asks.

She’s pointing to something I haven’t noticed.

Do you see it?

It’s the man’s jaunty, satin cod piece. That big thing that points up to the big, blue sky.

How would you explain what it is and how and why?

Be prepared with all answers to all possible birds and bee questions that your kids may ask. Even going back to the 15th and 16th centuries. And, if you don’t know what a cod piece is….*I have the information for you. Some day you may need it.

Sex education can never start too early.

*codpiece |?käd?p?s|nouna pouch, esp. a conspicuous and decorative one, attached to a man’s breeches or close-fitting hose to cover the genitals, worn in the 15th and 16th centuries.ORIGIN from earlier cod ‘scrotum’ (from Old English codd‘bag, pod’) + piece.

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures? Look here for details. It’s a great time to have a phone reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.


Where The Men Are

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

 

“They’re Not Where Carole And I Went”

My friend Carole and I go to brunch at a classy, rich golf resort down the mountain.

We sit on the up scale patio next to the golf course. There’s a vast green view filled with grass, oak trees, designer clouds in the sky and old men trying to put balls into little holes.

The table beside us has grandparents and four tiny children. The kids keep shrieking and knocking on the back of my chair and sometimes they step on my toes as they race around the tables. One little girl says to me, “Why do you have gray hair?”

“It’s platinum,” I say. “I have it because I’m lucky.”

Carole and I are pretty much OK with the childish revelry because we have grandkids and we know how they are.

However….Carole has been single for centuries and so have I. We think it would be fun to talk to a nice, eligible man once in awhile.

I had suggested we go where all the men go on a Sunday morning; to a fancy restaurant on an expensive golf course.

That idea isn’t working out too well. Especially since I have a stomach ache and can’t eat very much.

Carole and I are disappointed today but we  have been for years. We often go to luxury places and the men we have managed to meet have been disappointments. Like, they wear little tassels on their shoes and don’t exhibit any animal magnetism. Or, they are looking at these same places for rich women to take care of them, or to take advantage of women in some other ways.

A week or so later I stop at my brother Jim’s new place. He has moved his mobile kitchen, The 3rd St Grill, next to an old  country convenience store right up the street from me. (more…)


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