Mysteries in Life

Positively The Best Way To Meet New Friends & Romantic Prospects

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

This Is Not Where I Met Mr. Penis. I Did Meet Someone Else Here

I’m at a buffet bar and there is a very startled man looking at me with a shocked expression on his face. He can’t take his eyes off me.

This is happening a number of years ago when I lived at the coast in the Land Of Surfers and Hot Babes.

I am at a ‘Networking Meet and Greet’ and I am wearing a sticky name tag that says, ‘Venus’.

The woman who runs these meetings always brings her brown pet ferret with her, draped around her neck like a mink.

She and others who are here to network and find new business, are lined around the salad and food bar, smiling winningly and scooping up pre-fab morsels of food.

There is a good looking young man across the salad from me that I have not seen before. His name tag says, ‘Peter.’

I am feeling especially bright and friendly and I call out to him, “Hello! You must be Penis!’

Oh my god. Why did the name ‘Peter’ come out as ‘Penis’!? (more…)

Dr. Chen And The Palm Reader

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

Dr. Chen Resting Between Needle Work

Darling Dr. Chen is sticking needles in my stomach. He tells me he has looked at my website and is duly impressed. He tells me he believes in these kinds of things.

“I have a lady client,” he says. “88 years old from China. She tells me that when she was young she saw a palm reader and the reader said she would eventually live in a place the color of red, white and blue.”

I blink for a moment and say, “Oh! The United States of America!”

Dr. Chen says, “Yes, yes! And then the reader says she will live by a lake and she will marry an older man, have one son and she will be widowed when she is 59. And, that she will have  health troubles and 3 operations but after the 3rd one, she will be healthy and live a long time. But, she will live alone.”

“Oh, and?” I say.

“She came to America to live, she lived by a lake and she married an older man. He died when she was 59, she has one son and she has had 3 operations. She just had her 3rd one for a broken bone in her neck. That’s why she see’s me, to help with that.”

“And now she’s going to live a long time?” I ask. “But, she’s already 88!”

“So, I believe in things un-explained,” says Dr. Chen.

I’m not sure  anymore, what I believe in. Why is it that once in an great, great while you get a  special reader of some kind and you find that your whole life has been spelled out like it has been written in a book and signed by you before you come into this life?  Signed and, notarized. Where is the free will? Where are the choices and the various forking roads that one might take? Or, is free will just our ability to choose to like chocolate ice cream… or vanilla?

‘Let Go And Let God’ takes on new meaning. If it’s all planned out, why worry? Why agonize? Why spend years crying over what we do have and crying about what we don’t have? Why trouble ourselves with guilt, recriminations and ‘what ifs.’ If our lives are indeed firmly Written maybe we should just relax and live them?

But, there’s the rub. We don’t know the answer to the question. We don’t know if our lives are predetermined. We wonder, but we don’t know. Nobody gave us the paperwork.

Life is a Mystery Story and how interesting would it be if we knew the ending? Or we thought we knew the ending? Best to read the full novel without peeking, I think.

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


A Weekend With Jim

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

We’ll Get To This In A Minute

Here’s The Jim News:

Jim is my brother who has All The Troubles. They follow him around like a cosmic, comic dark cloud. You can read about him in many other places on my blog.

Here is the latest from Jim.

I’m at our sister Polly’s house. Jim is living here at the moment while he is waiting for his life to make sense.

The three of us are sitting on puffy chairs, under a canopy, gazing out at Polly’s raucous flowers and a line of eucalyptus trees.

Jim says, “I just read a newspaper article about a mother and daughter who were arrested for breaking into a government building. Did you see that?”

No, we haven’t read about it.

“Well, the mother and daughter got arrested because they broke into some government building and then they broke into a freezer in there and stole 5,000 gopher feet from the freezer!”

Polly and I are stunned. 5,000 gopher feet?Why would someone want 5,000 gopher feet? We try and think of possible explanations and decide that there must be a bounty on gophers and people get paid to prove they killed them. But, why would the government feel compelled to keep the feet?

Jim has another story to tell. While looking for more permanent work as a chef, he’s cooking at a lovely Old Age Home. He cooks the old ladies gourmet meals.

The ladies in question are an interesting mix. All the way from Hospice care to fully functioning.

He says, “One lady, Julia, followed me all over the place a few days ago. She badgered me all day, making demands about the food and all kinds of things. She is usually pretty quiet and reserved, so I was surprised.

“Well, yesterday she wasn’t following me and nagging at me and I didn’t see her anywhere. I said to someone, “Where’s Julia?”

“Then, I hear all the sirens and up drives an ambulance and a fire truck.

“Now we know where Julia is. She’s dead in her bed and she’s all purple.

“I say, ‘How can this be?! She was so jolly and active the day before!'”

Polly and I remind Jim that Mom was like this before she passed. She was in a coma at home for at least a week with no eating or drinking.

One morning the hospice lady calls me early and says, “Venus! Come on over! Your Mom wants to have breakfast and coffee with you!”

All of us kids rushed to Mom’s house. Mother had coffee with ice cream in it and I made her a full breakfast. Which she ate. She was very talkative and we all laughed and had a hilarious time.

Later, she slipped back into the final good-bye.

Jim now leaves for work, but before the weekend is over, we have another Jim Story.

All of us kids think Jim is almost deaf. We secretly think he may even be getting some dementia. Why else can’t he follow directions and conversations and repeats things? We tell him he must get his hearing checked, that how can he find a good job when he can’t hear?

Polly sends Jim to Cost Co for a hearing test. Jim comes back with surprising news.

“The woman looks into my ears..she was very cute..and says, ‘well, I know why you can’t hear. You have so much wax in your ears that it is all the way out to the edges of your ears and it’s so old, it’s black!’

We are aghast.

“But,”Jim says, “I told her I always clean my ears and she says that’s the problem. That I was always just pushing the wax farther into my ears and causing a total back-up. She told me to put this oil in my ears for a week and after that I will be shocked at everything I am hearing!”

To round off my weekend, I sit with a lady at lunch and watch her pour 2 packets of Saccharin into her glass of wine!

But, the most exciting thing for me this weekend is Albertson’s Grocery stores announcing that they have gotten rid of their Club card!

I totally dislike those cards we all have to get with some grocery stores and pharmacies, etc. We must have the cards, we must use them to get ‘deals’ or the ‘best prices.’ If we don’t have their card we pay lots more money for groceries and product. How dumb is this? Sometimes, I think that We The People should be in charge. Why are some corporations so inept at knowing how to keep customers and making good business decisions?

Oh well. On a brighter subject, like wine….Maybe there is a good reason why that lady puts Saccharin in her wine. Come to think of it, she works for Albertson’s Grocery store!

There must be some crazy connection. But, what is it? I’d like to know what you think. People love to read your comments so I hope you will post one.

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

 

 

 


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