Odd People I Meet

EEEK! The Holiday parties!!

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

Eeek….It’s Those Holiday Parties!

Reba is close to 80 years old. She hosts a magnificent sit down Christmas dinner.

The Menu:

Raw salad with raw Brussels sprouts, raw kale and greens.  Chicken marsala with mushrooms and rice. Pumpkin bread. A frozen pumpkin desert in a vanilla ice cream shell. Home baked Christmas cookies.

“Are these mushrooms from your property” I ask.

I’m thinking of my liver and a possible transplant from wild mushrooms. ¬†I have read too many bad-ending mushroom gathering stories.

I am also thinking that my stomach rarely handles all raw and ice cold foods. My acupuncturist says I have a ‘cold stomach.’

But, this is Christmas. I eat it all.

I am sick all night and the next day from exploding gas and giant pains in my gut.

But, that is tomorrow. The dinner right now is fun. The conversation is riveting.

Reba tells us about her father’s death. (more…)

The Crazy Doctor

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

A Stand-In For The Crazy Doctor

Finally, I am ready to look really stupid and tell you this particular story about My True Life.

A few years ago I found a fascinating doctor on the internet. She had amazing testimonials on line, a beautiful photo of herself and she seemed so unique that I just had to hand my body over to her.

Every couple of weeks I would take the long drive to L.A. to see her. It was such a long drive that I had to stay overnight in a cold, quiet hotel with lousy food and lumpy pillows.

My time with the doctor was an odd experience and as you may know, I am enamored of the odd and peculiar.

The woman worked out of a lovely old house in the city. She looked like the bare bones of her photo. Instead of being beautiful and colorful she was pale and homely with a rivetingly un-attractive out-sized butt. (more…)

A Sure Fire Way To Meet A Single Man

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

One Of The Trees That Caused The Trouble

I’m bent under the black walnut trees that line the road down the lane, across from my house.. There’s a lot of nuts on the ground this year.

I search through the dried grass, find handfuls of black shelled nuts and toss them into the street. I bend, scoop, and toss until there are masses of hard shelled nuts on the pavement.

The crows on the wires and I watch and wait for cars and trucks to roll by and snap the nuts making multiple, sharp bangs. The weight of vehicles crack the shells exposing the soft meat.

Bang, crack, bang, crack, crack, bang! The sound is very satisfying.

Every fall I feed the crows their walnuts this way.

At last, turning from my good deed I head down the long lane across the street from me. The cars rush by behind me as the volley of banging continues to hit the air.

Suddenly, there is a man racing out of his house toward me, across his field, headed to the road. (more…)

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