Relationships

Another Weird Vacation But All’s Well That Ends Well

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

 

Venus Ready To Leave ER, Looking 100% Better!

As you can see, I recovered.

This is the start of my 3 week vacation. While sitting on the front porch, something stings me. My whole body catches fire. I immediately jump up and say intensely, “I have to go to the ER right now.”

I call my sister Polly and she races me in her car, down the mountain. My entire body blows up with hives and blisters and everything swells, including my face and lips. Polly says there is a yellow band over the top of my lips. I am the color of a boiled red lobster. As Polly and the ER doctor are later quick to tell me, “You look dreadful!”

Polly loves medical stuff. I hate medical stuff. I have a Doctor and Disease Phobia. Polly has a Doctor and Disease Crush and Delight Phobia.

My entire life I have tried to stay totally away from doctors and hospitals and all those connections.

As we tear down the mountain, Polly reminds me how very delightful I am.

“You’re moaning and you can’t hold still. You’re itching violently and you can’t even close your hands and you keep saying, “Faster! Faster! Hurry, hurry, get me to the hospital! Pass that truck. How much farther? Where the hell is that hospital! ”

Polly is tender hearted but she can’t help but notice my sudden change of heart about the medical profession.

Later, after I live, she tells me she thinks my words and demands were hysterical for someone who dreads this kind of thing…that I was begging to get to the hospital and the doctors!

We both get a lot of laughs off this one.

 

My Sister Polly Having A Wonderful Time With Venus At The ER

Polly has a wonderful time as the hospital. She loves doctors, hospitals, diseases and all medical things. Here she is leaning on my bed, with her little medical sticker , watching me swell and thrash as she enjoys herself.

Periodically, she calls out my heart rate and blood pressure and comments on my condition. This is not helpful.

 

Venus As ‘Marilyn Monroe’ With Cupcake Friend, Brenda

I do recover. Recovery is in time to rickety off to my vacation in Seattle with my Cup Cake Sisters. We 7 ladies have been friends since Grammar School and they don’t fail me, now. I’m still wobbly and having some recurrent red episodes and freaking out but they talk me down and don’t make me cook or do dishes.

So, with this vacation I’ve had a Near Death Experience and the love and concern of all my sisters, including Polly. Truly, all is well that ends well.

But hey…I don’t know if I have the nuts to take another vacation.

 

“THE DEAR VENUS SHOW: All Show Times and Ways to Listen

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

3 Men Playing Life’s Lotto?

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

It’s Not Like Winning The Lotto

Here is what happened at my last Family Party:

1. My sister’s husband, who is a large size fellow, went to Wallmart before the party, slipped on a wet floor in the bathroom, skidded across the tile and slammed into a wall with his shoulder. He was hurt but relieved that he didn’t crash to the floor. As he said, “How would they have ever gotten me up? Used a crane?” He skipped my party.

2. My ex-BF, Bill tripped perhaps over his own foot and fell hard on the patio as he was cooking hamburgers. He made a huge thudding sound as he smashed his elbow onto the brick and twisted his ribs and other parts. As he said, “How did this happen? I never fall.

3. My brother Jim tells me when he left the party, he ran down the long drive to his car which was parked on the side of the main road. He opened the car door, slipped, fell hard onto the road, hit his head and rolled into the middle of the street. And, this is a man who doesn’t drink.

My question? How is it that 3 men in my family, who never fall, all slipped and fell hard in one day, the day of the Family Party? It’s not like winning the Lotto!

Sometimes, life doesn’t make sense.

Why doesn’t Live give the answers to odd circumstances?

“THE DEAR VENUS SHOW: All Show Times and Ways to Listen

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

Searching For An Untroubled Plumber

Thursday, September 12th, 2013

The Sink That Started The Frantic Search

Here’s why I need a plumber.

Bill’s car died and has to be hauled off to a Car Cemetery.

Bill tripped over his feet and fell flat with a thud on the patio. I thought the thud was his head, but it turns out it’s his elbow which is black and blue. He smarts in many places but the good thing is his back was hurting for 3 months and now that pain is gone. We think the fall gave him an adjustment.

The drain in Bill’s kitchen sink is plugged up clear to the back wall and we need a plumber.

So. Now I am Bill’s chauffeur and he has to wash his many dishes in my sink, in my house. However, the body wreckage he’s suffered doesn’t affect me thank goodness, as I have my own.

Our first order is to find a plumber. The car burial can come later.

The plumber I always use is not returning my calls. I believe he has run off. My guts say his wife left him. I am sorry about that, but I can’t fix him and obviously, he’s not emotionally able to drain Bill’s sink and clear the pipes. He may be drunk some where, I don’t know.

Bill gets out the town’s yellow pages and begins the hunt for a good plumber.

As I am his landlordess, I give him instructions.

“Get the Senior Rate. Get a plumber who doesn’t charge to come out and look. Ask me before you choose one as I have lived in this town a long time and know a lot of people.”

Bill doesn’t want my instruction. He curls his lips and gets to work. From the other side of the door I hear him drop the yellow pages and turn to his computer. He’s making calls in his Studio. These darn walls are way too thin.

My brother Jim comes over to nap on my living room couch. (Oh come on now, I haven’t time to explain that one. I’m trying to tell you about looking for a plumber.)

Bill raps on the door between his studio and my house. He comes into my Great Room and says, “Hi Jim. OK. This guy I called will do the drain for $80 and he’s asking questions about the leak in your tub faucet and what else you want done.”

“Who is he?” I ask.

“What does it matter who he is?!”

“I may know him,” I say.

Bill turns and goes into his place and I follow.

“It’s Dan Donovan Plumbing, if you must know,” he says.

“Not him!” I yell.

“Why?”

“I can’t remember why. I just know I have a down feeling about it, some memory in the past.”

Bill snorts.

Then, I notice he’s on the phone.

“Ah..I’ll call you back,” he says and hangs up.

Darn. Why didn’t he tell me he was talking to the man?

“You can always do this yourself you know!” Bill snarls.

He gets all irritated and comes back into my house with the phone book.

Jim shouts from the couch, “Who? Dan Donovan!? He ripped me off! He charged me an extra hundred dollars and then left shit everywhere in my place! ”

“Oh,” Bill says as he turns around and goes back into his studio. (more…)


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