Wierd Stuff

‘Thrilling’ Adventures

Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

Here  are a few of my recent Adventures.

 THE ART SHOW

The Art Party

The Art Show Reception is upstairs, over my brother Art’s Jewelry Store. You can see the tree filled view across the street. We are mingling and sitting at tables and chairs. It’s like being at a Grand Affair In Paris.

Susan Knows How To Have Fun With Local Wines

Everyone thinks Susan is a sister because her hair is like the rest of the family’s. She loves wine like I do, too.. she must be a sister. In this town everyone is related to someone else, so who knows.

Art Party Fly Food

We have only managed to trap the flies inside the net.

 

DARLING DR. CHEN

Darling Dr. Chen

Darling Dr. Chen is my acupuncturist. I call him ‘Darling’ because he tells me if I would dye my hair I would look like I am 40 years old! It’s very important to have a doctor who sees you in a positive light.

 

A FUN TIME NOT HAD BY ALL

Summer And I Get A Body And Foot Rub

My daughter takes me out for a special treat. She is annoyed because her masseuse wears rubber gloves!

“Do you know what it’s like Mom, to have someone rub your head and face with big rubber gloves?!”

 

MY NEW MAINE COON KITTIES

My Mickey

Mickey likes to hang out and relax more than his sister does.

Busy PollyBelle

PollyBelle The Sister is always busy. She wants to study palmistry.

 

THE THRILLING ADVENTURE

Pregnant Goats

And, it’s fun to visit The Chicken Lady Who Lives Up The Steep Mountain That Scares My Grandkids. You can buy eggs here, off the woman’s old sagging porch. You take what you want and put your money in a tin can.

It’s always hard to get the car turned around so you can get back down off the mountain. There is always the chance that the car might drop off the side and hurdle you and the eggs all the way to The Great Beyond. Now there’s a thrill.

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

A Weekend With Jim

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

We’ll Get To This In A Minute

Here’s The Jim News:

Jim is my brother who has All The Troubles. They follow him around like a cosmic, comic dark cloud. You can read about him in many other places on my blog.

Here is the latest from Jim.

I’m at our sister Polly’s house. Jim is living here at the moment while he is waiting for his life to make sense.

The three of us are sitting on puffy chairs, under a canopy, gazing out at Polly’s raucous flowers and a line of eucalyptus trees.

Jim says, “I just read a newspaper article about a mother and daughter who were arrested for breaking into a government building. Did you see that?”

No, we haven’t read about it.

“Well, the mother and daughter got arrested because they broke into some government building and then they broke into a freezer in there and stole 5,000 gopher feet from the freezer!”

Polly and I are stunned. 5,000 gopher feet?Why would someone want 5,000 gopher feet? We try and think of possible explanations and decide that there must be a bounty on gophers and people get paid to prove they killed them. But, why would the government feel compelled to keep the feet?

Jim has another story to tell. While looking for more permanent work as a chef, he’s cooking at a lovely Old Age Home. He cooks the old ladies gourmet meals.

The ladies in question are an interesting mix. All the way from Hospice care to fully functioning.

He says, “One lady, Julia, followed me all over the place a few days ago. She badgered me all day, making demands about the food and all kinds of things. She is usually pretty quiet and reserved, so I was surprised.

“Well, yesterday she wasn’t following me and nagging at me and I didn’t see her anywhere. I said to someone, “Where’s Julia?”

“Then, I hear all the sirens and up drives an ambulance and a fire truck.

“Now we know where Julia is. She’s dead in her bed and she’s all purple.

“I say, ‘How can this be?! She was so jolly and active the day before!'”

Polly and I remind Jim that Mom was like this before she passed. She was in a coma at home for at least a week with no eating or drinking.

One morning the hospice lady calls me early and says, “Venus! Come on over! Your Mom wants to have breakfast and coffee with you!”

All of us kids rushed to Mom’s house. Mother had coffee with ice cream in it and I made her a full breakfast. Which she ate. She was very talkative and we all laughed and had a hilarious time.

Later, she slipped back into the final good-bye.

Jim now leaves for work, but before the weekend is over, we have another Jim Story.

All of us kids think Jim is almost deaf. We secretly think he may even be getting some dementia. Why else can’t he follow directions and conversations and repeats things? We tell him he must get his hearing checked, that how can he find a good job when he can’t hear?

Polly sends Jim to Cost Co for a hearing test. Jim comes back with surprising news.

“The woman looks into my ears..she was very cute..and says, ‘well, I know why you can’t hear. You have so much wax in your ears that it is all the way out to the edges of your ears and it’s so old, it’s black!’

We are aghast.

“But,”Jim says, “I told her I always clean my ears and she says that’s the problem. That I was always just pushing the wax farther into my ears and causing a total back-up. She told me to put this oil in my ears for a week and after that I will be shocked at everything I am hearing!”

To round off my weekend, I sit with a lady at lunch and watch her pour 2 packets of Saccharin into her glass of wine!

But, the most exciting thing for me this weekend is Albertson’s Grocery stores announcing that they have gotten rid of their Club card!

I totally dislike those cards we all have to get with some grocery stores and pharmacies, etc. We must have the cards, we must use them to get ‘deals’ or the ‘best prices.’ If we don’t have their card we pay lots more money for groceries and product. How dumb is this? Sometimes, I think that We The People should be in charge. Why are some corporations so inept at knowing how to keep customers and making good business decisions?

Oh well. On a brighter subject, like wine….Maybe there is a good reason why that lady puts Saccharin in her wine. Come to think of it, she works for Albertson’s Grocery store!

There must be some crazy connection. But, what is it? I’d like to know what you think. People love to read your comments so I hope you will post one.

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

 

 

 

Dog Road & The House Of Secrets

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

Dog Road With The House Of Secrets

There’s a red dog lost on the paved road that runs past my house. He’s skinny.

I stop my car, pull over and call to him. He runs away.

I drive up the lane to my house, grab a bottle of water, a bowl, and a bag of cat kibble.

I call out to Bill and rap on his Studio door.

“We have to get this dog!” I shout. “He’s in the road and some car is going to hit him.”

Bill get’s a leash and we’re off, driving slowly, looking up dirt lanes and behind trees.

I stop the car at an ill kept house along the way. The lady who lives here sometimes helps me corral lost dogs in the street and the last time I saved a dog, it was one of hers.

I pound on her door. And pound again. There is a great yapping and flinging of strong dog bodies against the flimsy screen.

A younger blonde version of the older woman comes up behind me. She’s just visiting she says, and tells me she’s the woman’s daughter. She might be in her 40’s.

Yes, she says she’s seen the dog in the road and tried to catch him and he ran off.

She points to a small dirt road ahead of us. “I saw him run up there.”

I hop in my car and off we go, as Bill and I fly up that road. If cars had wings we’d be racing the wind currents.

I stop the car and pop out. Bill eases out his side and walks onto a property where there is a house for sale.

There she is, the red dog, behind eucalyptus trees with her back against a fence, watching us.

I can’t see them but I hear 2 women from where we just came from, talking about the dog.

“Over here!” I call. “We need help. The dog is here. We need you!”

Two women come trotting up the lane. It’s the mother and daughter.

The dog leaps as Bill approaches her, then runs away. She runs toward me and quick, I pour water in a red bowl. The dog stops and drinks madly, then tears off, again.

The ladies think the dog belongs in the house at the end of the lane, beyond a big metal gate. They think they have seen her there.

Leaning hard on the gate, I try and push it open. It won’t push. It’s locked.

The ladies and Bill are running and swooping, trying to catch the dog. I’m calling shrilly into the house beyond the gate.

Big dogs at that house, roar their distaste and rush for me. It’s chaotic.

At last, behind me the red dog allows the older women to grab and hold her.

From the house beyond the gate, a man, a wavy figure  behind a long dark glass window calls out, “What’s going on!”

I call to him that I think we have his red dog, “The one with the skinny bones!”

The man comes out and gestures that he’ll check behind his house to see if that dog is missing.

What is this fellow doing locked up in a dark house on this sunny day?

Yes, it’s his dog.

Hurrah! A happy ending.

The man comes over to us wearing a bandana on his head, a youngish man who wants his privacy most of all.

I’m very friendly, clasp his hand and say I’m his neighbor Venus, and we’ve been chasing his dog all along, through and away from the busy road.

I wonder what this man’s secrets are. I think he has some.

But, he’s happy to see his dog and leads her away.

I jump around and clap my hands and shout to Bill and the ladies about what a good team we are and how well we all work together catching lost dogs.

We’re all happy but I think maybe I am the most happy…or maybe just the most effusive and vocal about it?

Any day when you can save a dog’s life, is a good day I think!

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

 Testimonial

“Everything is better since we talked, Venus. You work Magic.” x Maggie R.

Marie writes: “Thanks to Venus Andrecht ! Always a riot and her reading on my most recent relationship was so bang on (and so was her last one!) “

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

 

 



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