Words from Venus

A hilarious true experience with a ‘Bad Psychic’

Monday, March 3rd, 2014

Art by VenusI have done several Dear Venus Radio Shows with the topic being ‘Bad Psychics. Since then listeners have been emailing me their own outrageous experiences. This email comes from a lady I often work with on the phone:

“I went to a psychic storefront, operated by two male psychics. I was younger then and working and living abroad by myself.

I was going through some crummy love issues that compelled me to seek answers and solace.

When it was my turn for a reading the two psychics made me pee in a glass and “guessed” my name to convince me of their powers. Then one man told me that I had a Bad Spell on me. The only way to cure it, he said, was to give them lots of money to buy these very expensive and miraculous candles that would take care of my rotten love life.

I explained that I was a student and that I did not have that kind of money.

The fellow then offered the next Best Spell Lifting Special. The psychic told me he would do me a favour and lift the spell from me by having Sex with me! (more…)

Where Have I Been?

Monday, November 4th, 2013

For the answer, please see below.

Bill Cooking

True Story: My friend Bill is 70. He got a credit card from a local casino. He tells me he took it to another casino and decided to ask if it was valid there. He showed it to the casino workers in charge of this kind of thing. Handing it to them he said, “Say, can you give me some money off this card so I can play the slots?” They looked at the card, looked at him, looked at each other…’Ummm…no…’ they said. Bill tells me that later he put on his glasses and looked at the card. He had handed them his Library Card!!

Hello my friends,

In case you have wondered where I have been.

I am writing another *Book and it is demanding my creative time.

Currently I am posting My True (and often strange) Life Blog stuff on my FaceBook FAN Page

Please LIKE ME  on my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE!
http://www.facebook.com/venusand
And on Google+ under venus andrecht.  Please join me here, I would love to ‘see’ you and we can chat back and forth on those two places.

The blurb above and the one below, is what has been on my  FB FAN PAGE and GOOGLE + within the last few days:

What Else Is In That Toilet?

An interesting mental picture: “The toilets aren’t working here,” my acupuncturist says. “You know the restaurant next door? A man dropped, threw or dumped his batch of keys in the toilet. And, then he FLUSHED the toilet! He and all the rest of us connected to the restaurant have been waiting 2 hours for the plumber!”
(What do you think, folks? Did he toss, dump or throw those keys in? Or he must not have realized it happened? Otherwise, why would he flush them? It brings up an interesting mental picture.)

The Herb Lady’s Notebook by venus andrecht

* You can see and read parts of several of my published books on my home page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com

“MLM Magic: How to build a extra-ordinary networking business of your kitchen table.” This is an e-book that has sold well over 100,000 copies. It comes from the time when I was a ‘Big’ Networker and teaches one how to build a successful MLM business; simple, cheap and easy.  http:///www.amazon.com

“Certain Men: How to un-love them, un-need them and replace them with a good guy.” You can read the first chapter on my site and order as an e-book from Amazon, etc.

“The Herb Lady’s Notebook,” details my time as an herbalist. A fun time, I must say! Read the first chapter on my site. This is a print book, found on all the online places, like Amazon.com

 

Another Weird Vacation But All’s Well That Ends Well

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

 

Venus Ready To Leave ER, Looking 100% Better!

As you can see, I recovered.

This is the start of my 3 week vacation. While sitting on the front porch, something stings me. My whole body catches fire. I immediately jump up and say intensely, “I have to go to the ER right now.”

I call my sister Polly and she races me in her car, down the mountain. My entire body blows up with hives and blisters and everything swells, including my face and lips. Polly says there is a yellow band over the top of my lips. I am the color of a boiled red lobster. As Polly and the ER doctor are later quick to tell me, “You look dreadful!”

Polly loves medical stuff. I hate medical stuff. I have a Doctor and Disease Phobia. Polly has a Doctor and Disease Crush and Delight Phobia.

My entire life I have tried to stay totally away from doctors and hospitals and all those connections.

As we tear down the mountain, Polly reminds me how very delightful I am.

“You’re moaning and you can’t hold still. You’re itching violently and you can’t even close your hands and you keep saying, “Faster! Faster! Hurry, hurry, get me to the hospital! Pass that truck. How much farther? Where the hell is that hospital! ”

Polly is tender hearted but she can’t help but notice my sudden change of heart about the medical profession.

Later, after I live, she tells me she thinks my words and demands were hysterical for someone who dreads this kind of thing…that I was begging to get to the hospital and the doctors!

We both get a lot of laughs off this one.

 

My Sister Polly Having A Wonderful Time With Venus At The ER

Polly has a wonderful time as the hospital. She loves doctors, hospitals, diseases and all medical things. Here she is leaning on my bed, with her little medical sticker , watching me swell and thrash as she enjoys herself.

Periodically, she calls out my heart rate and blood pressure and comments on my condition. This is not helpful.

 

Venus As ‘Marilyn Monroe’ With Cupcake Friend, Brenda

I do recover. Recovery is in time to rickety off to my vacation in Seattle with my Cup Cake Sisters. We 7 ladies have been friends since Grammar School and they don’t fail me, now. I’m still wobbly and having some recurrent red episodes and freaking out but they talk me down and don’t make me cook or do dishes.

So, with this vacation I’ve had a Near Death Experience and the love and concern of all my sisters, including Polly. Truly, all is well that ends well.

But hey…I don’t know if I have the nuts to take another vacation.

 

“THE DEAR VENUS SHOW: All Show Times and Ways to Listen

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

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