Tuesday 7PM:

Bill returns from a full, late day at work. How glad he is to find that Lexi, (six) has laid out a full course meal for him in his studio. The courses sit on 3 chairs lined up in a row. Each chair has a place mat and silverware.

The first chair hosts a large bowl of garden greens with carrots, tomatoes, hot marinated red and green Spanish peppers, orange seasoning, salt and pepper and liberal amounts of tabasco sauce.

On the second chair we have a banana pudding. The bottom layer is an intriguing mix of a (very) ancient smashed brown banana mixed with a small, raw chopped potato and over that is sliced the last perfect banana from my kitchen counter.

The third plate holds a long medium sized loaf of French bread, cut in half. It is covered in raspberry jam.

There is also a cup of water with lime juice squeezed into it.

Bill is surprised to find his dinner waiting. I don’t tell him that it has been waiting out for him since noon. I don’t see anything that will kill him without refrigeration, so I let that knowledge be unsaid. Why upset him?

He makes appreciative sounds as Lexi ushers him to his table and begins to serve him. He starts with the tabasco and hot pepper salad.

I watch intently. He eats it, doggedly.

His eyes water. He looks at me like he might die but he keeps eating. Lexi points out each pepper and details how she collected all the vegetables from the garden and what went into the dressing.

Suddenly, I say, “What’s all that green stuff?”

“Lettuce,” Lexi answers.

“But…we don’t have any lettuce in the garden.”

Bill looks up at me and stops chewing.

We examine the greens. It looks like mainly chard and kale and I’m thinking, ‘I hope she didn’t throw in any potato leaves.’

Bill tries to rinse his mouth from his glass of red wine.

“It’s really hard to taste the wine,” he whispers over Lexi’s head. “The tabasco and all the hot peppers have killed my taste buds.

He pushes what’s left of the salad aside.

“I think I will save the rest for tomorrow’s dinner,” he says.

Lexi hands him the dessert.

Before he eats this one, he wants to know what’s in it.

“I found a really brown banana in your room,” Lexi says excitedly.

Bill looks alarmed.

“That banana must be at least a year old!” he says.

This means nothing to Lexi, but Bill suggests maybe he should have the bread before dessert. The jammy bread is benign enough, only  it’s been sitting out in the air for 7 hours so Bill finds it rather tough and chewy.

Well. I have things to do and I say so as I leave Bill’s place. He watches me leave as Lexi  hands him the Banana Delight.

“She takes after you,” he says, and considering some of the innovative cooking messes I can make, this is not a compliment.

But, Bill is a sweet man and I hope he lives through the night.

WEDNESDAY 7AM:

Bill does live through the night… we think. At least, we notice he is not in his bed in the morning. I tell Lexi not to worry, he will be home again this evening at 7PM.

Time passes and it’s now 9:30 in the morning. I hear some great clattering in Bill’s studio and go in to check. There’s Lexi, “Fixing Bill’s dinner for this evening.”

Here is the menu:

On a large white platter reposes a slice of spicy tofu turkey rolled around cooked white rice. I don’t think I will mention that this is the rice that Bill cooks up to feed the dog. Sliced red onions adorn the top of the roll-up.

Ketchup, mustard, marinated torn up potent hot peppers and un-known seasonings decorate the tofu roll and are big side dishes on the rest of the plate.

This time there is another medium sized whole french bread slathered in jam and whipped cream. And some mustard, by accident.

I suggest we cover Bill’s dinner and put it in the refrigerator so it will stay fresh for the evening meal. Lexi remarks that Bill won’t have to cook again, tonight.

She then takes a break from cooking and is now trying on all my night gowns which I feel is pretty harmless.

Thinking back, both she and Bill complained of stomach aches when they went to bed last night. Today Lexi is complaining of massive gas. She is busy farting herself around the house.

I wonder how Bill is faring at work?

Lexi must be one of those cooks who personally taste tests their cooking for quality. I think she will be famous one day. When that happens, then I will eat her cooking. Until then, I’ll make and eat my own meals thank you and frankly, I am often the only one who will.

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Tags: bill, cooking, dinner, gas, Lexi, mustard, peppers, stomach, tabasco, tofu, turkey, TV, VIBRANCETV

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