When I was in my early 40’s, after The Very Bad Marriage, a therapist was trying to convince me how angry I was. She was encouraging me to scream and throw office pillows. Trying to please her, I stood up and attempted to conjure up some violence. Nothing happened.
As I stood there, I suddenly became someone else. I was shorter then ‘me’; a woman with brown hair pulled up on her head, wearing a short white tunic. I had a long spear in my left hand that dug firmly into the ground. I was standing on a hill looking downward, regarding a vast moving army of men in a valley below.
This woman said, “I’m Hadja, The Goddess Of War, long before your known times.”
Immense power surged through me. I grabbed some pillows and pummeled them against the walls, knocking over potted plants and scattering paperwork while screaming like a warrior woman. ‘I’ was indeed the Goddess of War!
My therapist was incredibly impressed. The next time we met I found her rapidly moving and dragging her many potted plants outside the door and stuffing her things into the closet.
Weeks passed and Hadja remained with me. I was so infused with atomic bomb like energy and power that I found it hard to sleep and to even function in this world. I kept telling Hadja that I couldn’t live like this, that I didn’t live in a world that would appreciate her power, that she was exhausting me and that I was concerned that I would do some damage.
Finally, I called my mother for help. When I started to explain the situation she immediately said, “Oh, it’s you! I knew it wasn’t me!” She said she had seen herself on a hill overlooking a vast army as The Goddess of War!
I said, “You’ve got to help me, Mom. I can’t live like this. Every moment I’m consumed with Hadja’s power and I can’t use it in this life I’m living. I’m afraid it’s going to get loose and I will hurt someone!”
My mother said, “I’ll consult my friend.”
Mother’s ‘friend’ was someone who had been writing through her and to her in a special journal for years. Soon, Mom sent me her friend’s reply to our questions. I have that paper tucked safely and forgotten somewhere in my house, but the idea went something like this:
I was Mother Tiger and I fought ferociously for and protected my ‘children,’ meaning people. And, yes indeed, I could be a danger if warranted.
This seemed too strange to be true but Hadja was also too strange to be true.
With my mother’s help, we were able to convince Hajda to move back from my life so I could live it, not her. Since that time I have had to be very careful not to invoke Hajda, as her energies, while pure, white hot and blazing with righteousness, do not fit into my milder existence.
Why am I telling you this story about me and Hadja?
For several reasons.
For one, you know I throw good energies to you which I call Mojos, to help you with your life in good ways.
Most people say they feel them and that often they bring good changes into their lives. They are a part of the Power I’m speaking of.
Recently, events in my life have conspired to bring up the biggest white hot powers, again. Remembering the time my kundalini rose up unexpectedly, I am now wondering what is going to happen next with me. Some other kind of shocking experience with The Power? I don’t know.
I’m thinking I could be mad as a hatter…but, I know I’m not.
Many aspects of my life are a puzzle. They are interesting puzzles that I play with some caution but they are mostly played now with abandonment to the Power that has a plan for all our lives and cares for us all.
Another reason for my telling you about Hadja is because things that happen in my life like this, are a puzzle to me.
If your life or some aspect of it seems to be a puzzle consider what The Beings say:
“We are all God having experiences and God loves all experience.”
A simple explanation for all the puzzles in life, don’t you think? And, comforting, too.