Posts Tagged ‘ bathroom ’

The Great Cat Potty

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Before The Cat Potty

This is my back patio where I first have my Brilliant Idea. Notice the cat door.

 

The Great Cat Potty Begins To Take Shape

This all started when I tried to train my cat Sparkle to use the toilet.

Sparkle Asking To Eat Or Go Outside.. Or Both

This Is Sparkle Telling Me She’d Like To Go Outside, Please

After 2 1/2 months I succeeded in teaching her not to use a cat box OR a toilet and now she will only go outside. This means at night. Often multiple times a night. You can imagine how this is affecting my rest and peace of mind because of all the dangers that lurk in the dark for cats.

And this, of course, is Karl.

Karl In Repose

He too chooses to only go to the bathroom outside. Fortunately, I had a large cat yard built for him, but again, I am up much of the night putting him in and out of it.

 

This Is Just Part Of Karl’s Yard!

Sparkle will not go in this yard. She hates it. She is used to her freedom.

I do not have a photo of Jeronamo and Bill laughing madly and slapping each other as Jeronamo builds The Great Cat Potty. They are already hysterical about the big covered yard I had Jeronamo build for Karl. And they are hysterical about this back patio that I had fenced in so Karl can not get out. The coyotes can get in, of course, as they jump fences. So at night, Karl and Sparkle will need to use the New Very Improved And Brilliant Cat Potty.

Bill says my back patio now looks like Guantanamo.

 

My Back Patio Wired For Karl's Safety

This Is Karl At Guantanamo

And here is the finished Great Cat Potty!

 

Maybe The Cats And I Will Get Some Sleep Tonight

Bill and Jeronamo are still slapping and laughing.

*Please EMAIL this on to your Cat People Friends? We understand each other’s excesses. I need their understanding company.

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy building Cat Potties? Look here for details. It’s a great time to have a phone reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.


Bill Plays Bathroom Roulette

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

"Bill Playing Bathroom Roulette" http://www.artmojos.com

 

 

“My head missed the toilet bowl by a hair,” Bill says. “If my head had hit it, it could have killed me.”

Bill has opened the door from his studio that leads into my house. He’s standing in the doorway just looking at me.

He looks like he has a confession. He does.

“Yeah?” I say. “What? What are you talking about?”

“When I cleaned the bathroom yesterday morning,” he says, “the mop fell sideways to the floor, right in front of the toilet. I let it lie. I thought, ‘I’ll remember it’s there.'” (more…)

Felt Like Pooping Lately?

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

http://www.artmojos.com

 

This is not a story about fish. It’s more about toilets, but we will get to that.

One day my daughter Summer and I take the kids to an Asian Market.

It’s true that the kids are overwhelmed by the fish.

Loch, who is five, is fascinated by all the rows of multi-colored dead fish on ice. He is exuberant about the live blue crabs which keep waving their legs in the air while trying to crawl out of their tub. Most of all he is mesmerized by the live lobsters and various swimming fish in tanks, waiting to be plucked for someone’s dinner.

Nine-year-old Lexi is impressed by all the severed fish heads with their frantic bulging eyes and festive teeth, while in another long case I am disconcerted by by all the animal parts. Tripe, brains, knuckles, tongues, stomachs, spleens and splintered bones are laid out in haphazard ways.

I gulp and feel suddenly intrigued by vegetarianism. The animal parts strewn about have made me, a Primitive Meat Eater, go kind of glinzty.

Aside from the fish and the bloody animal piles, there is lots of other stuff, foreign to our American eyes.

Row by row with our rolling cart, we all wander and look at unusual products.

I  toss fish powders and some seaweed soup mixes into the basket.

We get a few fresh but unknown vegetables that we won’t know what to do with when we get home with them.

The store is dirty.

The kids are excited and curious as we wind our way up and down the aisles between fire crackers and bags of various dried mushrooms and jars of fish paste.

Loch suddenly yells, “Why does everyone here have brown skin and we have white skin!?”

Then he begins (and won’t stop singing) Hanuaka songs in a loud voice…and we are not Jewish.

The store is dirty and packed with people and suddenly I have to pee. (more…)


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