Posts Tagged ‘ jim ’

The Secret To A Good Hair Day

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

The Secret To A Good Hair Day http://www.artmojos.com

The East wind is blowing as I’m walking through the Farmer’s Market. I’m watching the cold wind smack the lettuce off my hot fish taco.

When I look up I see a woman waving at me from a booth. I walk over and recognize her from other places in town.

“I can’t remember your name,” she says, “but I sure remember your hair!”

My hair is white. I call it platinum, and I have lots of it. It’s bouncing in the wind now, blowing and billowing around my head in a whipped frenzy.

This hair has a lot of energy. My mother used to say “I can always tell when you’re upset Venus, or when something dramatic is going on in your life because it stands straight out all over your head.”

Oh yes. It’s curly, too.

My hair is electric; sometimes more so then others.

When my hair is wet it looks like almost nothing is there. It sticks to my head making my face look like a pecan in it’s shell or the top part of a long green onion.

As the hair begins to dry it gains momentum and is soon flying around my head and face like white frosting shot from a can.

People marvel at the change.

Why am I rapturing on about my hair to you? In a moment you will know. (more…)

The Best Job to Have

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

 

Jim in his kitchen. http://www.artmojos.com

Today I am trying to learn the cash register at my brother’s stationary mobile kitchen and I charge an old man $776.00 for his hamburger.

I tell him I’m truly sorry but he is not happy about it.

I tell him this is my first day, that I am helping my brother by learning how to take orders for meals. That sometimes Jim needs extra help when he gets really busy and since I work for free he will be calling on me.

Now I can’t get the cash drawer open. The ten dollar bill the old fellow is trying to give me flies off the counter and out the counter window and sticks to the old fellow’s gray sweatered chest.

I reach out and peel the bill off him. (more…)

Are You Really as Odd as I Think You Are?

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

"You Think I'm What??"

My brother-in-law has called me on the phone.

He says, “I want you to know I love you.”

I say, “Thank you Ron.”

“And,” he adds briskly, “although you have always been an irritant in my life you have made me a better person by doing it.”

What? He loves me but I irritate him? I irritate him?

He continues.

“And whenever I need help you are always there for me and you always stand up for me, no matter what. And I love you for that.”

“I am an irritant?!” I say.

“Well, yes.”

“What do you mean I’m an irritant?!”

“Ah…well…I really don’t know…except that you always call me on my stuff and tell me, bull’s eye, whatever it is. You are always honest with me and tell me straight and you tell me to knock it off.”

“Like what?”

“Well…I don’t know…but it’s a good thing I married your sister and not you. I just know that you have always been an irritant in my life and I love you.”

“Gee. Thanks for the call, Ron.”

“You’re welcome.”

Hahahhhahah!

Later that same evening my cousin Elaine sends me an email.  (more…)


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