Posts Tagged ‘ men ’

3 Men Playing Life’s Lotto?

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

It’s Not Like Winning The Lotto

Here is what happened at my last Family Party:

1. My sister’s husband, who is a large size fellow, went to Wallmart before the party, slipped on a wet floor in the bathroom, skidded across the tile and slammed into a wall with his shoulder. He was hurt but relieved that he didn’t crash to the floor. As he said, “How would they have ever gotten me up? Used a crane?” He skipped my party.

2. My ex-BF, Bill tripped perhaps over his own foot and fell hard on the patio as he was cooking hamburgers. He made a huge thudding sound as he smashed his elbow onto the brick and twisted his ribs and other parts. As he said, “How did this happen? I never fall.

3. My brother Jim tells me when he left the party, he ran down the long drive to his car which was parked on the side of the main road. He opened the car door, slipped, fell hard onto the road, hit his head and rolled into the middle of the street. And, this is a man who doesn’t drink.

My question? How is it that 3 men in my family, who never fall, all slipped and fell hard in one day, the day of the Family Party? It’s not like winning the Lotto!

Sometimes, life doesn’t make sense.

Why doesn’t Live give the answers to odd circumstances?

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Can Old Ladies Be Trusted?

Wednesday, May 15th, 2013

Carol is 85 and beats the heads off live rattlesnakes. Then she skins the rest of the snake. And salts the skins.


Only SOME Of Carol’s Snake Skins

This is her collection.

She and the rattlesnakes live, and some expire, on a big ranch down the road from me.
Every Thursday, my art friend Regina, myself and our art teacher Stan, come to Carol’s house to paint. Many times when I walk from outside the house into Carol’s laundry room, I jump half my body length into the air. I jump because Carol has several snake skins or more, laid out on the top of her dryer, right next to the door. They’re just lying there like live snakes in repose;  relaxed and salted as they dry.

I often shriek.  (more…)

The FOD Girls

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

Lexi Meets The Neanderthal Man

Summer is saying, “So far nothing odd has happened today for you to write about in your blog, Mom.”

And, then it happens.

The three of us are playing hooky from our regular lives, today. We’ve come to Balboa Park to give my granddaughter Lexi, who is 10, some museum culture. Lexi has been badgering us for months, to take her to see the “Naked Neanderthal men at the History Museum.”

I’ve thought she might be disappointed. In America, nobody has genitals in these kinds of places. It’s just not done. This may be why the Neanderthals died out.

The cavemen are indeed a disappointment.

Next, we have lunch outside at a fancy place on the Park grounds. While looking at the menu, Summer says, “Lexi will have a big Margarita.”

Lexi snaps to attention and gets excited.

“Oh wait,” her mother says, ” I was thinking about myself, not you Lexi. Sorry.”

Lexi slumps in her chair and peers at her dismal glass of water.

So far, nothing *FOD has happened.

As we get up from our table after lunch, we notice small white hearts encased in tiny plastic snack baggies, on the ground.

Oh my! (more…)

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