Posts Tagged ‘ road ’

Children Disappear Into UFO

Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

 

The UFO That Whisked The Kids Away!

Here is the UFO that swallowed my grandkids.

Lexi, 10, has assured Loch, 7, that he will love being slammed and flattened against the wall, defying gravity as the UFO spins rapidly in the air.

I’m not so sure that we won’t have to stop the ride and go into the UFO and save Loch from his folly.

We’re at the local Fair. What I’ve noticed  about this Fair is that most people here, (the public and the carnival workers,) need to wash their hair.  Also, most folks are a bit more than just fat; they’re pretty much dragging loose flesh around as they slap through the dust.

I feel my own hair and pinch the skin muffin around my own waist.

We’ve been here for several hours. I’m tired and hot and I want to go home and wash my  hair and lose weight.

Here is the joke Loch tells Bill and me as we drive to the fair:

” What do you get when you cross the road with a dog and a rose?” The answer: “A cauliflower!”

We think he means, ‘What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?’

We find his joke hysterical and he is much pleased. Then Bill tries to explain that you don’t cross a road with a dog and a rose to get a cauliflower, you cross a dog with a rose.

Loch doesn’t get it. Neither does Lexi and they are outraged when we laugh even more.

They keep shouting, ‘Why are you laughing so much! Explain it!’ We do, again and again in various ways and get no where. Maybe because there are a lot of holes in their understanding of the birds and the bees. In Loch’s case, he knows nothing, and Lexi has had only had a bit of ‘The Talk’ which sent her into outraged hysterics, at the time.

At the fair, it’s getting late. The kids want to eat dinner and then come back and do more Rides.

Lexi chooses chips with melted fake Velveeta cheese as her meal and Loch gets a hot dog. For dessert, they can’t decide. Caramel corn, waffle cake or poison dyed snow cones.

I’m glad when they choose the evil snow cones. Do you know why? Because the kids are anxious to get back to the Carnival for more Rides. It’s getting cold and dark and I want to go home.

My approval of the snow cones works perfectly. After the kids are halfway into them, because they are wearing shorts and tiny tops, they get chilled and want to leave!

And so we do.

Once on our way, the kids start badgering us about that darn dog crossing the road again, but I tell Bill, ‘Let’s leave this one to their folks!’

And so we do.

(And, now that I have finished this Blog, I am going  to the kitchen and make another peach cobbler. The one I made last week with an oat topping, didn’t turn out so well. I had to eat it as a breakfast cereal!)

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

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*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

 

 

Dog Road & The House Of Secrets

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

Dog Road With The House Of Secrets

There’s a red dog lost on the paved road that runs past my house. He’s skinny.

I stop my car, pull over and call to him. He runs away.

I drive up the lane to my house, grab a bottle of water, a bowl, and a bag of cat kibble.

I call out to Bill and rap on his Studio door.

“We have to get this dog!” I shout. “He’s in the road and some car is going to hit him.”

Bill get’s a leash and we’re off, driving slowly, looking up dirt lanes and behind trees.

I stop the car at an ill kept house along the way. The lady who lives here sometimes helps me corral lost dogs in the street and the last time I saved a dog, it was one of hers.

I pound on her door. And pound again. There is a great yapping and flinging of strong dog bodies against the flimsy screen.

A younger blonde version of the older woman comes up behind me. She’s just visiting she says, and tells me she’s the woman’s daughter. She might be in her 40’s.

Yes, she says she’s seen the dog in the road and tried to catch him and he ran off.

She points to a small dirt road ahead of us. “I saw him run up there.”

I hop in my car and off we go, as Bill and I fly up that road. If cars had wings we’d be racing the wind currents.

I stop the car and pop out. Bill eases out his side and walks onto a property where there is a house for sale.

There she is, the red dog, behind eucalyptus trees with her back against a fence, watching us.

I can’t see them but I hear 2 women from where we just came from, talking about the dog.

“Over here!” I call. “We need help. The dog is here. We need you!”

Two women come trotting up the lane. It’s the mother and daughter.

The dog leaps as Bill approaches her, then runs away. She runs toward me and quick, I pour water in a red bowl. The dog stops and drinks madly, then tears off, again.

The ladies think the dog belongs in the house at the end of the lane, beyond a big metal gate. They think they have seen her there.

Leaning hard on the gate, I try and push it open. It won’t push. It’s locked.

The ladies and Bill are running and swooping, trying to catch the dog. I’m calling shrilly into the house beyond the gate.

Big dogs at that house, roar their distaste and rush for me. It’s chaotic.

At last, behind me the red dog allows the older women to grab and hold her.

From the house beyond the gate, a man, a wavy figure  behind a long dark glass window calls out, “What’s going on!”

I call to him that I think we have his red dog, “The one with the skinny bones!”

The man comes out and gestures that he’ll check behind his house to see if that dog is missing.

What is this fellow doing locked up in a dark house on this sunny day?

Yes, it’s his dog.

Hurrah! A happy ending.

The man comes over to us wearing a bandana on his head, a youngish man who wants his privacy most of all.

I’m very friendly, clasp his hand and say I’m his neighbor Venus, and we’ve been chasing his dog all along, through and away from the busy road.

I wonder what this man’s secrets are. I think he has some.

But, he’s happy to see his dog and leads her away.

I jump around and clap my hands and shout to Bill and the ladies about what a good team we are and how well we all work together catching lost dogs.

We’re all happy but I think maybe I am the most happy…or maybe just the most effusive and vocal about it?

Any day when you can save a dog’s life, is a good day I think!

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

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*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

 

 


A Downside To Nudism

Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

A Borate Bomber Comes To Rescue Our Road

There’s a brush fire on my road. The last time we had a fire it took out much of the vegetation down our very long road and many of our homes.

Today, there are at least 10 fire trucks, helicopters, police, and borate bombers. The fire planes are dropping their loads of hot pink borate on the fire.

The fire is behind a house and land that has been here since my childhood.

Many of my neighbors are here with me at a view point, watching developments.

The fire is contained quickly, only 4 acres gone. At the home’s back field there are a long line of enormous granite boulders. They are now a hot neon pink and will be, probably for the next 25 years. It looks very artsy. (more…)


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