Posts Tagged ‘ susan ’

Positively The Best Way To Meet New Friends & Romantic Prospects

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

This Is Not Where I Met Mr. Penis. I Did Meet Someone Else Here

I’m at a buffet bar and there is a very startled man looking at me with a shocked expression on his face. He can’t take his eyes off me.

This is happening a number of years ago when I lived at the coast in the Land Of Surfers and Hot Babes.

I am at a ‘Networking Meet and Greet’ and I am wearing a sticky name tag that says, ‘Venus’.

The woman who runs these meetings always brings her brown pet ferret with her, draped around her neck like a mink.

She and others who are here to network and find new business, are lined around the salad and food bar, smiling winningly and scooping up pre-fab morsels of food.

There is a good looking young man across the salad from me that I have not seen before. His name tag says, ‘Peter.’

I am feeling especially bright and friendly and I call out to him, “Hello! You must be Penis!’

Oh my god. Why did the name ‘Peter’ come out as ‘Penis’!? (more…)

Woman Wins More Than Expected

Wednesday, January 30th, 2013

 

My Friends The Art Girls At An ‘Early California Plein Air Artists’ Art Lecture, With Wine And Cheeses

Here are the players in this little drama.

Sue is 85 years old, in the blue shirt . Carol is also 85. She is third from the left.

One Art Day, Sue came to visit us at Carol’s Ranch on our regular Thursday Art Day. Sue put her open purse on the ground to give us all hugs.

Carol’s big brown dog Roger, came over and peed inside the purse, spot on the photo of Sue’s recently dead husband. Sue had brought the nice photo of the man to show to us.

Sue is going alone on a trip with singles to Vietnam and other far places. She astounds me. She is probably going to ride racing camels and hungry alligators before she gets back from her travels.

Regina who is facing the camera right up front, is going to Beijing, China and India. A few months ago she went to Romania and came back with the Raging Runs.

We think she is very brave to go to India and China! Especially since she is racked with allergies and even chokes on wiffs of air. Beijing is known for it’s lethal smog. We tell her to wear thick masks and to take very small breaths.

Carol has recently traveled the world and wants to stay home now and eat cookies for awhile.

Susan, in the pink scarf, flies off to England every other month to look after her 96 year old daddy.

Me? I prefer to stay  cozy at home. Although I do travel to The Other Side a lot, and I guess you can give me travel credit for that?

It’s a great cloudy day today, a real *Plein Air day for sure, with wind and streaks of color across the sky and trees modeled against it like swinging ladies’ arms. (more…)

A Lucky Day In The Mountains

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012

This Is My Friend, Susan

When Susan tells her husband that she and I are going off for a day in the mountains, he tells her to pack her pistol.

I don’t think she will need one, do you?

We’re both artists and this is going to be an Art Day.

We ‘re chugging up into the mountains. We’ve left early because we’re going on the local Mountain Art Guild’s Studio Tour. Our plan is to stop in a little town and pick up a map and tickets. Then we will commence  on our own on a winding drive, stopping at various art studios.

I’m telling Susan I have a feeling we should let this day swing as it will; that I think our patience and plan may be tested.

It is.

We stop at a bead shop where we’ve been told we’ll find the map and tickets. There are no maps and no tickets here. There are 3 enormous dogs and a board outside depicting the cast of The Wizard Of Oz.

We’re told if we will wait awhile, maybe they can find the map we need.

We walk into a red barn that’s adjacent and filled with crafts and tables of apples and jelly. The place has a coffee bar. We each get coffee and sit outside on a sunny porch in little rocking chairs. We gaze at the pines and blue jays. We are charmed.

We meet 4 more dogs.

We wait and we wait.

We pee in a shiny, breezy bathroom.

We think maybe we should forget the self tour and just stay here and visit the wine bar.

But, reason holds. Maps are produced. Never mind that the map is not to scale and particularly worthless.

We’re having an Adventure.

We both pee before we leave.

As we’re finally leaving the barn, a woman with yet another dog trots up to us.

“Oh! You must visit my shop!” she burbles. “This is my pug dog, Pierre. He’s 8 months old and I have just opened my store, I have never had a shop before and I am 68 years old!”

She looks it. (more…)


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