Posts Tagged ‘ toilet ’

My Enema Adventure

Wednesday, September 19th, 2012

“If I Were A Dragon Fly..I Would Bite These People..And Go Home!”

Will this New Adventure be as messy as my Enema Adventure or The Emergency Hospital Adventure In Palm Springs?

As you’re reading this, I am having another Adventure. This time I’m in Napa with grammar school friends, (hopefully) enjoying a Wine Drinking Vacation.

After last year’s incident my 6 women friends strictly warned me that I must promise I would do nothing odd or eccentric, ever again, 2 months before our yearly trip together. They know how I am.

Too bad they missed out on my Enema Vacation.  (more…)

Observations Of An Under-Reported Kind

Sunday, May 6th, 2012

The Casino ‘Ladies Room’

My favorite part of the local casino is the bathroom.

It reminds me of the one in Harrod’s Department store in England when I was there many years ago.

Look straight ahead in the photo and you can see the fine louvered doors to the toilets. You can even see a toilet.

In Harrod’s, they had the louvers a bit more than half way up the door and the rest was glass. I thought this was darn queer. Why would I want to sit on a toilet, grunt, and watch who was coming and going. So to speak.

While I was sitting on the toilet in Harrods, the nice lady who worked in the loo came up, looked in the window at me, waved and asked if everything was alright, and could she get me anything?

I said, “No thank you, I’m fine.”

This doesn’t happen in America. You close the door to the toilet, sit down and do your business, and no one opens the door and asks after your welfare. However, sometimes little children in the next stall will stick their heads under the siding that divides you from their compartment. Their heads are upside down and they stare at you. They never ask if they can be of service by handing you toilet paper or something they just like to watch you pee.

Have you ever considered the different toilets we use?

There was the one I wrote about before in the fish market where a sign demanded that you not stand on the toilets to do your business but if you did, in fairness to the other customers, “Please wipe the droplets off the toilet seat.”

I went to Europe on a tour at least twenty five years ago, and here is what I remember: (more…)

Bill Plays Bathroom Roulette

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

"Bill Playing Bathroom Roulette" http://www.artmojos.com

 

 

“My head missed the toilet bowl by a hair,” Bill says. “If my head had hit it, it could have killed me.”

Bill has opened the door from his studio that leads into my house. He’s standing in the doorway just looking at me.

He looks like he has a confession. He does.

“Yeah?” I say. “What? What are you talking about?”

“When I cleaned the bathroom yesterday morning,” he says, “the mop fell sideways to the floor, right in front of the toilet. I let it lie. I thought, ‘I’ll remember it’s there.'” (more…)


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