It’s a sunny Sunday and we’re at the coffee shop. There are six of us, all art friends. We’re sitting at one of those high round tables, eating fancy bread and drinking tea.
Pat the oil painter, looks at the rest of us girls and the lone fellow and says, “I need your help. I think something must be wrong with me.”
The six of us lean toward Pat, concerned.
Pat is a wonderful and well known painter. She is also rather quiet and reserved in manner so we don’t have any clue as to what the problem might be.
“You know Joe G.” she says.
Of course we do. He is a very famous wild life painter who lives up in the mountains.
“Well,” Pat says, “I was in the grocery store the other day and I saw him over by the vegetables. I trotted over to say hello. He looked great, you know in that long white pony tail he has and the short gray beard and he was wearing a really bright, red shirt.
I leaned toward him and I said, and I can’t believe I said this, but I said, ‘You look so…’ and I meant to say Christmasy, you know, because of his beautiful red shirt, but what I said was…”
Pat pauses and we wait.
“What I said was, ‘you look so…chicken.’ !!”
We all gasp.
“Yes!” Pat is practically crying, “Yes. I said ‘you look so…chicken.’ And, I don’t know why I said that. And, I don’t know where that word came from. I meant to say Christmasy!
“Joe got all upset with me and he said, ‘You think I look… chicken??’
He was clearly angry about it and I just stood there and looked at him and then I took a few steps back. I mean, I didn’t know how to explain why I had called him a chicken. I had no reason. So, I was mute.
“He kept saying, ‘I look chicken?’
Pat looks at us, pleading. ” Help me…What’s wrong with me? Do you think there is something wrong with me?”
I have my head down on the table. I am laughing so hard I have almost dunked my head in my tea and in the bread plate. All the other ladies and the fellow are laughing, too. And whooping.
When we all calm down a bit, we try and reassure her.
The man friend sitting next to me says that once he was getting ready to lead a group of fifty people on a motorcycle ride into the desert. He was the head man and all the other cyclists were behind him, waiting for him to start up.
But, when it came time to lead them across the flats he says he couldn’t remember how to start his motorcycle.
“I’d had that motorcycle for years and I could start it in my sleep, but for some reason I couldn’t remember how to start it then. I tried and tried and tried. Finally, I looked behind me and all those people had turned their motorcycles around and left.”
Judy tells us how she came home from grocery shopping, brought all the food in from the car and put it away. Then, she sat down and had a cup of tea. Finally, her husband looked at her and said, “So, when are you going to turn the car off?”
I relate how about ten years ago, a man friend was at my house busily working on a lap top computer.
“I said, ‘So, when did you get that computer?’
“He looked at me strangely. ‘It’s your computer,’ he said. ‘You bought it several weeks ago.’
‘Get off it! I did not,’ I replied.
“He looked scared.
“‘Yes….you….did,’ he said.
“I went over and looked at that laptop up close. I touched it. I even smelled it. I had no memory of that computer. At all.
“Than I was scared!
“Well, it’s been ten years since that happened and I haven’t seemed to have regressed into senility, so I don’t know how to explain that lapse.”
…….
Maybe as artists, we have all been smelling too much paint?
Or, maybe the truth is, that all of us, all people, live in different worlds? We’re each off in our heads, in our own reality somewhere and it doesn’t always jibe with what everybody else agrees is ‘real’? And, maybe sometimes when we are trying to function ‘here’ we are really only half here…or we are just some kind of phantom of ourselves, operating without ‘us’?
If it’s not Alzheimer’s, it’s a puzzle.
What do you think?
*By the way, I love it when you leave your comments directly on this blog. I do read and personally answer all your comments through my email. (Sometimes I get behind, but eventually, I answer.) Some of you are so astute and some of you are so much fun that it is a waste of your talent to not amuse everyone who reads the blog. And, I love all the compliments, too! Thank you for reading. Venus
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
**WINNER OF A FREE 15 MINUTE PHONE SESSION WITH VENUS * Judith Beverly* Offer good through Dec. 31, 2008. After that null and void.
Tags: alzheimers, artists, coffeeshop, friends, memory, tea
Leave a Comment...
Click here to Leave a comment through Facebook social network.Click here to Leave a comment through the blog.
OHMYGAWD, Venus, that was so funny!
I visited my home town, and before visiting my mom, made a quick run to the grocery store to pick up some dinner for us. A man walked up to me and said, “Dana? Wow, I can’t believe it’s you! You haven’t changed a bit!”
Needless to say, I had NO idea who he was. I thought he was going to cry when he realized I didn’t know him. We even graduated together!
Must be my artistic mind.
Love
Dana
I love it when I see and email from your blog – no matter what else is going on in my world I take a minute for me and read what you have written and as usual it makes my day much better.
thanks for being the great person you are!
Laura
I have put milk in the cupboard by accident, used my juicer and forgot to put the container underneath it to catch the juice, and of course it ran all over the counter…let’s see…left pizza on the counter overnight….the bugs thought they died and went to heaven…boyfriend has been making coffee and forgetting to put the pot underneath…the list goes on…I don’t do these things all the time you know…
Happy New Year all!
I “speak in tongues” so often that people either ignore my mistakes or even scarier – understand exactly what I really meant.
I am a grade school librarian. One day I passed out bookmarks with animals on them. The sixth grade girls laughed uncontrolably after one girl got a bookmark with a sheep on it. It seems that earlier in the day she raised her hand to answer a question. The answer was “sheep.” The teacher called on her and instead of the word sheep coming out of her mouth there was a loud “baaaaaah.” We hung the bookmark up on the wall (don’t ask why)and had a tribute to Bob aka Baaaaaab the sheep all year long. He got Valentines, candy, etc. He’s still up on the wall. The story is still great and gets laughs. We are reminded daily that it’s okay to make a mistake – it might actually make someone’s day in a good way.
Suggest that your friend email your blog to the artist – I bet he’ll get a kick out of it.
Love and blessings,
Joanie
I love reading your blog, as well as listening to your Hay house radio show thank you Venus.
My story still makes me blush to this day after so many years have gone by. As a newly promoted employee I wanted to make a good impression, In the morning meeting we’d been asked to say out loud what a customer was purchasing as well as the price when ringing them up.
A couple, man and wife approached the counter with two bras along with my boss with a clip board, he was checking that all employees were following his directive.
I spoke as loud and clear as possible because Jerry the boss was watching, With a big smile I said “that will be 9.99 for two breasts”! The husband and wife started laughing and my boss started giggling while looking down at his clip board, he finally had to walk away because he couldn’t stop laughing …
A Happy New Year,
Kate
That’s okay.
I worked in an office where you needed a key for the bathroom. And when I would get up to go there, I would sometimes cross over my lap (as though to unbuckle my seat belt!), get up, point my key at my chair, and click the lock button on my car key.
Sadly, I did this more than once…and my co-workers, being the non-confrontational types, never said a word.
A senior moment in my early thirties…
Thanks for the blog. It really cheered me up.
Don’t worry about senility with these types of events. I can remember a distinct event when I was 13-15 years old. Trying to act mature, of course. I wanted to say something was pretty, or beautiful. Instead, my mouth said “pee-yew-tee”. This confused, then amused my friends. Oh well.
One of the many events, where I learned to laugh at myself.
Thanks again. Your e-mail cheered me up.
michele
Venus,
I just love your stories. It’s about 4:45 AM on Monday Morning after a LONG holiday weekend, I’m slow to get moving for work. I got a cup of coffee and sat down to read your blog and I found myself laughing so hard my side started to hurt. I just love your stories. Oh, I already said that! Thank you for making my mornings and thank you for sharing your friends with us.
Love and smiles
Rita
Hey Venus! Happy Holidays!
OK, I was thinking about the ‘chicken’ thing as I read, thinking that it must have been a freudian slip, but since it sounds like your artist friend really liked and admired this guy, it did not make sense. But then the first comment you noted by your other friends was the one with the artist/motorcyclist who choked. So, it came to me that your friend was feeling ‘chicken’ and that’s what came out! (’cause she was kind of nervous, probably).
I cannot explain the labtop, would need more info, but I can only assume you don’t pay much attention to things that don’t interest you??
I cracked up about the car, because I sometimes forget to lock up myself. I can only assume American car engines are quieter and sometimes one might forget to turn them off!
Thank you Venus for your blogs and your Hay House shows, they are so funny and fun to read and listen to! Happy New Year to all! Thank you, Beings!
Love,
Despi
Venus:
What came to me is that the lady wanted to say “sexy, scrumptious or ???” but her inner voice said “you’re Chicken” to her
and as that thought was front and centre … it just came out
Fondest Love Gerald
This reminds me of a day, maybe a year or so ago, when I went to heat something in the microwave oven, and I could not figure out how to open the door. I used this contraption frequently, and I’d had it for years, so there was no doubt that I KNEW how to use it, but I was totally stumped. Later that day, or maybe the next day, I looked at it again and knew immediately where the door opening thingie was, and couldn’t understand how I could have NOT known earlier. These little mental glitches are quite curious to me… it’s as if certain ‘files’ in the brain’s hard drive become inaccessible or misfiled.
I also sometimes will swap words- for instance if I want to say something about the ‘leaves on the trees’, I might say instead the ‘trees on the leaves’. I think that is a verbal type of dyslexia.
Venus, I’m so pleased you have enabled the comments on your blog! It’s fun for us to be able to respond to some of your great stories, even if just to let you know how much we’re enjoying them.
Hi Venus, This was such a funny article and certainly brought back some memories from my life! For years I would cringe whenever I recalled this memory, but I realized that I have never told anyone they looked chicken, so I guess it’s OK to share it with you!! I was working as a temp receptionist for a very upscale real estate office, and on my first day I was being trained by the head secretary who scared the bejesus out of me. I was only 21 years old and felt like such a kid compared to everyone else there. Well, I did OK on my first few phone calls, but round about the 4th or 5th call I needed to ask someone to hold, and the protocol was to say “will you hold?”, but instead I said “will you hang?’ (I think my brain meant “can you hang on?”) There was a pause and the man on the other end said”can I HANG??”. Meanwhile the secretary was glaring at me and motioning for me to give her the phone. I have never turned so many shades of red in my life! Later I knew she told everyone in the office, because I would hear “can you hang? behind my back for weeks. So, it isn’t just us middle-agers who do stuff like this, it is everyone. Please share (if you want) with your chicken friend, and tell her we’re all in this human craziness together.
Lots of love-Kate
It’s certainly a midlife thing for many of us. Hormones having a little joke on us, proving that God has a great sense of humor. A friend says her daily hope is that when she walks into a room, she can remember why she went in. My husband called me recently to tell me he’d misplaced his cellphone. I asked him what he was talking on. You guessed it…We’ve probably all walked around with our glasses on our heads, trying to find them. But I’ve done that with them on my face. Even my dog is perplexed by my behavior at times. Such as when I walk out the door carrying her leash but leave her behind. At least we can entertain ourselves with our follies and foibles. We’re an interesting species.
Happy new year to everyone!
Blessings and love, Donna
Hi Venus,
I love reading your blog and this particular update made me laugh so hard. I’m in the middle of training/working for an entirely new job and could so resonate with you and your friends about forgetting things or tasks as we call it at my current job. Also I’m waiting very patiently for my name to be drawn for the free 15 minute session. All is well!!!
enjoy!!!
Anu
Dear Venus, Great to read your latest blog…..
Tell your friend not to worry. We all have our moments. I
remember many years ago when I was working as an account
executive for a fragrance company, it was a big deal when the
district manager would come into town and go around to stores
with me. The August day we drove around together the air
conditioning in my car decided not to work even though I had just
had it fixed, so we both got rather hot and uncomfortable.
Anyway I was driving him to the airport and all I could think of
was getting home to my husband. So we got to the airport and I
helped him get all his things out of the car and then I,
somehow in a daze of thinking of my husband, hugged and kissed
this district manager on the neck. When my lips touched his skin
and I realized he was not my husband I almost fainted with
shame. I was speechless and he gave me the weirdest look!!!!
oceans of love to you, Joy
Happy New Year!
My Wish for You in 2009
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of money. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires, and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words …………
May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!
How hillarious! Chicken? Too good. I use to have verbal flubbers all the time. It’s hard not to think that she didn’t totally fall over laughing herself. Probably because he was so taken back. Good to read this and bring a smile to my life today! Happy New Year! Sara
Happy New Year Venus. I haven’t laugh so hard in many, many moons. Thank you and thanks to everyone else for sharing your stories. I’ve also had many of these moments. Unfortunately, I can’t exactly recall them right now. Peace to everyone. – Willetta
LOVE it! I was looking for an uplifting start to my morning (I made the mistake of looking at world news first thing–NOT a smart plan!) and the thought, “Maybe Venus made a new blog post” dawned. I knew THAT would lighten me up! I was not disappointed. I laughed hysterically all the way through. Please thank your friend for me and thank YOU for helping me get back to Easy World today! Love, Julia
Wow! So there are other people like me who have this “forgetful goofiness” or mind glitch business. For me, it has nothing to do with aging. I have always been this way since as a child. I have momentarily forgotten people, things and words on occasion. For example, I have looked at the word “and” and thought “That doesn’t look right. What word is that? Is that how you spell it?” I can’t say that I’ve called anyone anything funny like chicken, though. My verbal boo boos tend to be the odd flub here and there. I’ve always attributed it to my comings and goings from my body, which Venus you know all about. I get kind of confused between the worlds so to speak. Not to mention, I am quite high strung and nervous, which contributes as well. I so can relate to Kate’s comment about being scarred on the job to the point that I say weird things.
Thanks for the laugh and I will try to remember this next time I feel like a ninny for being so forgetful.
Happy New Year Everybody!
Look at all the stories!
I think you’re exactly right. We’re not really “here” at all, but only localizing. Sometimes we’re more “here” than other times, and I think we can often say things that really have no rhyme or reason at all, like what we might do in our sleep; or, maybe we’re off somewhere else, marveling at a lovely rooster, and the part of us that’s here says “chicken” instead.
It really does happen to all ages. It should not be confused with senility or alzheimer’s! My own gramma (90+) has really been forgetful and bizarre. It’s scary to her, and I guess scary to all of us, but I try really hard to just laugh with her about it. I mean, she’s 90. What more could we possibly want? It happens.
Hi Venus,
Hi everyone who reads this!
This post is funny. It’s a really funny thing between me and my keys, I seemed to be always losing them. It was so bad that I had to put a pager on them. One time when I paged them, they were behind the toilet!
Happy New Year!
The curious case of Ike Fanbelt
Really got a kick out of this one. Why, yes. But there are certainly good things to getting old. Give me a minute. Well, more clarity. Patience. The money is nice. Pacing. And the fact that it’s supposed to get better, easier to navigate, this life on Earth school. Common sense becomes a stamp and pad with red ink. If you’re in a place long enough, you finally figure what’s going on. How many lives did Benjamin Button live to be born an old man and die young at heart? Of course, desire can be a problem. More like a gift. Ike Fanbelt
It’s not Alzheimer’s it’s old timers some will say.
I have something like that happen only 10 times worse. Well I was tending bar a customer asked for the time and it was six pm only I said it sex time. Try working until 2am after that slip of the tongue.
Patti
I’m wondering if maybe your friend was reading HIS mind. He was looking at the vegetables thinking, “what shall I have with these?” and your friend came along and telepathically stole his thought (“CHICKEN!”)
Happy New Year Venus!! Those “brain farts” in this blog entry put a smile on my face. Thanks for that, I needed it. Let’s face it, we’re all human, and we’ve all been in similar situations, embarrassing or not. My two cents is that there’s always an underlying meaning to these occurrences because I know that our inner world is reflected in our outer world. So once we get over the incident, we may want to explore the deeper meaning. Or not.
A stone fell off my chest when I just read this blog. There are really people who are just as forgetful as me??? And I’m only turning 28 in August. I say I have “selective memory”. My former boss has screamed and yelled at me for being forgetful and in my own world… I left last week after a year with the boss from hell.
…Thanks for writing this. People should see this “Alzheimer-light-syndrom” as something funny instead of start screaming about it and make people feel like freak shows! Loved the chicken story. 
) I often go to your blog if I need a good laugh!